Published by Philip Okrend, CPCC,
Certified Personal And Professional Coach
Personal and Professional Coaching provides a powerful
structure to help people focus on specific outcomes and
stay on track. Find out what coaching can do for you.
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Testimonials. . .
"My personal feeling is that everyone benefits from
Personal Coaching. Whether or not you own a business,
having a personal coach creates balance, peace and
growth in your life. Some may need it longer than others.
For me I went in with a 3-month program;and found that
I needed more. It was time worth its weight in gold.
Thank you Phil."
-B. Phillips, Entrepreneur in Professional Customer Service
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Welcome to Stepping Into Transition, the newsletter
designed to help you navigate your way through the
challenges of change into an authentic and empowered
|The Importance Of Personal Boundaries|
| ||It is a tool of personal power that helps you
enforce and safeguard the values that are most
important in your life. It is a tool that when used
consistently gives you the space to pursue important
goals and objectives. It is also a tool that many of us
have difficulty putting into practice. The tool I am
referring to is setting and enforcing your own personal
Personal boundaries are crossed whenever you feel
that someone else's actions and behaviors hurt,
distract, annoy or impose on you. Why would anyone
let their personal boundaries be violated? Many of us
have learned early on not to disappoint others and in
order to gain approval, we tend to relax our own
standards and values of what is acceptable to us.
Setting boundaries is not disrespectful, nor can it be
considered selfish. In fact, setting boundaries are
healthy, natural and serve to raise your self worth
because it communicates the essence of who you are,
what you believe in and how you want to be treated.
Boundaries give you a filter, a device to clear out
baggage and clutter and provides the opening
for you to really focus on what is most vital and
meaningful to you.
|Identifying Your Boundaries|
| ||The first step in realizing the power of personal
boundaries is identifying them. Ask yourself what it is
about another's behavior that violates your own
standards and values. Also take notice of your feelings
around that person's behavior. You will feel a direct
physiological response, an uncomfortableness in your
body when a personal boundary is crossed. As you
notice the sensation in your body, ask yourself how
you really want to be treated. Ask yourself what you
need to do or what you will no longer tolerate to ease
|Powerful & Compassionate Boundary Setting|
| ||In setting boundaries, the more clarity you have
around your values and vision for yourself, the more
power you will have in setting your boundaries. If you
are unclear about your values and vision, write them
down in a journal or meditate on them on a daily
basis. As your vision of who you are and what you
want gets stronger, any concerns you have about
disappointing others by enforcing your boundaries will
become less and less. Conversely, by enforcing your
boundaries you will disappoint yourself less and less.|
It is also important to note that the most powerful
boundary setting is done with compassion, with the
intent not to cause harm to the other person. Without
anger or resentment, you can communicate in an
empathetic manner that is natural and clear, and that
makes it powerful. It also allows you to move on with
clear conscience knowing that you did the best you
could by valuing yourself and the other person.
If you want help in clarifying how to express and
enforce your boundaries, you may want to enlist the
support of a professional coach or good support
system. Whatever you decide to do, you will find that
defining and enforcing your personal boundaries is a
major step in empowering yourself and creating the
kind of life you really want.
|This Month's Quote|
| ||"Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments.
Therefore each moment is vital. It affects the whole.
Life is a succession of such moments and to live each,
is to succeed."|
I hope you enjoyed this edition of Stepping Into
Transition. Until next time. . . Phil