Stepping Stones Coaching
Stepping Into Transition
   April 2004  

in this issue

Expectations-How They Can Trip You Up

Detach Yourself From The Results

Tips To Move You Forward

This Month's Quote And Recommended Reading





Published by Philip Okrend, Personal And Professional Coach

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   Dear Readers,

Welcome to Stepping Into Transition, the monthly newsletter designed to help you navigate your way through the challenges of change into an authentic and empowered life.

  • Expectations-How They Can Trip You Up
  •   Let's say, you're at a point in your journey through change where you've figured out what you need to do next. You're investing time, making plans, setting goals and taking action to achieve a desired outcome. And suddenly, things go wrong, nothing goes according to plan and you are not getting the results you wanted. You feel frustrated and disappointed.

    When you find yourself experiencing the feelings of disappointment or even anger or resentment due to unfulfilled expectations, it is because you are attached to an outcome, a future event. When you allow these feelings to linger, you will find that your energy becomes depleted, and will interfere with your ability to recognize other opportunities that can move you forward towards your vision.

  • Detach Yourself From The Results
  •   In order to move ahead with confidence and determination, it is important to understand that setbacks and unexpected events are simply part of the process of putting plans into motion. Everything may not happen in the exact way you want it to, and you can simply choose to view these things as bumps in the road instead of disasters that undermine you.

    Keep an optimistic attitude allowing each step of the process to unfold while keeping your ultimate vision in mind. Also know that whenever an unexpected event comes up, you can handle it. It may not be what you wanted but you can see the event as a learning tool which will make you more adaptable, resilient and stronger. By detaching from the results, you won't create any unnecessary drama that can hold you back from achieving what you want.

    So practice the following four steps as you set out on a course of action : 1.Set your intention. 2. Communicate your intention clearly when other people are involved. 3.Take inspired and committed action. 4. Detach from the results.

  • Tips To Move You Forward
  •   If you are experiencing frustration, disappointment or pain from unfulfilled expectations, resolve to do the following:

    *Focus on what is working right now. Recognize the perfection of the moment and notice the abundance that is already in your life including the unique gifts and talents that you possess.

    *Acknowledge yourself for committing to live in alignment with your values and for the effort you are making to make positive changes.

    *Don't blame anyone or anything for a situation that is not going the way you expect.

    *Don't view setbacks as defeat, failure or a reason to give up. Have faith that if something does not work out the way you want, it means that something better is waiting for you.

    *Stay open and responsive to new options and perspectives. Also practice being flexible and patient and you will cultivate creative solutions to your challenges.

  • This Month's Quote And Recommended Reading
  •   Quote For April

    "Notice the natural order of things. Work with it rather than agianst it for to try to change what is so will only set up resistance."

    - Lao Tzu

    Recommended Book

    If you enjoyed this month's topic, "The Power Of Now" by Eckhart Tolle is a must read. This book suggests that we can find our way out of psychological pain by surrendering to the Now, the present moment. Now is the place where we find joy and are able to embrace our true selves.

    Look out for May's issue of Stepping Into Transition on "The Power Of Committment". Until then. . . . Phil


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